How to destroy a grocery store with just one Goon

Addie and I went to the grocery store today. It was a shopping trip like many others, except for the fact that this time we were a team of destruction and disaster. I broke a weigher by putting a watermelon in it. I seriously made the thing detach from the display shelving and fall over. Those things are heavy, and more so with a watermelon in them. I still don't know how much that watermelon weighed, but I have a pretty good idea that it was more than ten pounds. I felt like an idiot twice: once right after it happened (because I was stuck there trying to get the watermelon out with one hand so I could prop the weigher back up), and the second time was when I watched another lady try to use it even though it was in a horizontal position. Then, not fifteen minutes later, Addie threw a bottle of soy sauce out of the cart. It busted open and soy sauce splattered everywhere, including inside my shoe. I went to the front counter and told on Addie, even though I'm the genius that put it next to her in the cart. The soy sauce that had splashed on our cart felt like the bloody evidence of our crime, screaming guilt to every fellow shopper that passed us. I bet everyone was glad when we left.

Now here are some pictures of Addie at the park in our neighborhood. Ain't she sweet?



Jason's work had Lagoon day last Friday so we went. All three of us. We all had our hands stamped at the gate, even Addie. Her hand was too small for the whole stamp so it just said, "goon". The poor kid was labeled as a goon for the entire day. There are some rides there that Addie can actually go on (whether she wanted to go on them or not could be debated). The first ride of her life was the Jumping Dragon. A kid from the last group of riders came off crying...maybe that was a sign. We hopped in our cart and buckled ourselves in, excited for the ride but not the least bit prepared. Especially Addie. As we started spinning while simultaneously going up and down, I thought, "Oh crap, I don't even like this." Then I looked at Addie and she was concerned almost to tears. It turns out she's braver than a two-year old boy though because she never did cry. It was going so fast she couldn't keep her mouth closed, so drool was whipping out across her chest and all over my arm. Kiddie ride my foot. The photo above is of us in front of that ride.

Then we took her on some little rocking raft ride, which is kind of like the big pirate boat ride but smaller. We also took the camera on board for documentation. This ride was fairly gentle, although it did spin, and she seemed to like it okay.

The last ride we went on was the Puff the Magic Dragon rollercoaster. Or something like that. You can see how she felt about it. She looked extremely worried about what was happening and hung on with a grip so tight that even crowbars would be useless against it. Notice I said "crowbars". It was that tight. She laughed after the ride was over... probably because she felt she had just cheated death.

And then we wandered around the little pioneer village where Jason made her stand in front of this creepy doll so he could take this picture of it. I didn't even want her to see it for fear of night terrors. Its hair was just so wrong and so creepy.

Then we all went and rested on a bit of grass, which is where I took this photo. I like it. It looks like she's late for her train. Which, by the way, we did ride one. I guess we went on four rides total.

After Lagoon we skipped across the freeway (not literally because that's dangerous) and hit up the Davis County Fair. We made it just in time to watch a guy wrestle an alligator, but not in enough time to get good seats. The coolness of alligator wrestling is ruined a little when you have to look under someone's armpit and around a Harmon's ad to see it.

Then I brushed a cow in the petting zoo. For free. I was a little nervous because the cow was so BIG, but I think I did a pretty good job.

Jason and Addie petted some little piglets. Last year at the State Fair Addie hated the pigs, but I guess she's had a change of heart.

Just a Texas longhorn.

On Saturday we just took it easy (Friday was a little exhausting) and supped at our local Sizzler's. We had a coupon (of course) and it turns out kids under three eat for free! Jason filled up a plate for her at the salad bar...I wonder if the waitress was giving us dirty looks from across the restaurant.

After eating we walked over to the park. As we were peering off a bridge into the river Addie's jelly sandal jumped in. I watched it spiral in slow motion down into the water while mouthing, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I love those shoes. Every one of our children, boy or girl, was going to wear those shoes. And then their children were going to wear them after that. Plus Addie has really small, chubby feet and its hard to find shoes that fit. Jason, being the brave knight that I married, took off his shoes and started wading in. He found a little kid's flip flop and put it on to help protect against the nastiness of the river bottom. It didn't fit and there was only one, but I guess it helped. He wandered around and then gave up. It was too deep and too gross. We actually went back two days later, hoping the water level had gone down some (I told you I loved them) but all he came up with was a fake eyeball and a rock. Sorry posterity. So now she's been wearing a pair of sandals that are too big. She looks like the child of Frankenstein when she's wearing them.

Here's the lonely mate to that dear, lost sandal. I guess you could say its the "sole" survivor (har har). I can't bring myself to throw it away yet, but it breaks my heart to look at it. Oh, I am so sad.

I just thought this was cute. Jason's an awesome daddy and Addie thinks he's pretty swell. They have a sweet little relationship with each other. Its priceless.