Rest Assured

THIS IS NOT A "WE HAD A BABY" POST. I know everyone is expecting the next post on our blog to be an announcement, so I just wanted to spare everyone any disappointment by making the intent of this post clear in the first sentence. No baby yet. Perhaps in the next forty-eight hours, perhaps in the next forty-eight minutes. Only the baby knows, but I think I felt her blowing up some balloons earlier... Anyway, I just wanted to inform everyone that we may have a short time period without the internet coming up here due to a change in tenants. I know, good timing. So if we have our baby during our time of darkness and isolation from the free world, we will rely on old-fashioned phone calls and text messages to spread the word. But don't worry, it will get spread...like mono in a relay-race at Camp Armless Kids.

Happy Birthday, Port!

Have you heard of Porter Rockwell, the Mormon Triggerite,
They say he hunts down outlaws when the moon is shining bright,
So if you rustle cattle, I'll tell you what to do,
Get the drop on Porter Rockwell, or he'll get the drop on you.









I just wanted to let everyone know that today is Orrin Porter Rockwell's birthday. If he were still alive today, he would be 195 years old. He was the body guard and loyal friend of Joseph Smith as well as other prominent Mormon men and prophets. He was known as the Destroying Angel, which, incidentally, is also a 1lb hamburger you can get at Porter's Place in Lehi, UT. Here is a picture of me eating one:
Jason and I shared it. Pretty tasty. Joseph Smith once prophesied that if Porter Rockwell never cut his hair "no bullet or blade" would harm him. He never did cut his hair (except once, to make a wig for a sick lady who had lost her hair, but apparently that didn't count) and he died of a heart attack at a nice old age (65). He was so awesome and seemingly invincible that, although he died at a natural age for that time, the people had an autopsy done on him because they couldn't believe he really died. So, Jason will probably add some cool stories to this post later because I can't remember any right now. Just make sure you celebrate his birthday today by doing something Rockwell-ish, like shoot a gun or have a "squar" drink. Or just say, "Wheat!" instead of "Good!" at least once today (I'll let Jason explain that one later).

Surprise Parties and Girl Kisses

I don't know if you guys have noticed the happy little baby slowly moving across the top of the screen towards goal 40, but she's almost there. Yeah, eighteen days left. The doctor says she could come anytime now, so my imagination has been running wild with labor scenarios. I was playing frisbee yesterday, and I thought: what if she decided now was a good time? Or in a movie theater? Or in line at the grocery store? Or on the walk back from Bed, Bath, and Beyond? I think it's kind of cool not knowing when she will come, like knowing someone has planned a surprise party for you but you don't know when; and every time you round a corner or walk in the front door you think, "Maybe it's right now. Maybe everyone is waiting to jump out in a second to yell, 'Surprise!'" I hope she actually yells, "Surprise!" when she comes. I also hope she comes with confetti and balloons. Small balloons.

Jason recently cleaned himself up: he shaved off all of his facial hair and he cut his hair. I feel like I just traded in my husband for a different one. I wonder if the neighbors will think I'm scandalous when they see me leave in a car with him, or when they see him come in at night and not leave until the morning. I'm so used to kissing a mustache that now I feel like I'm kissing a girl. I told him that, and now he thinks its so funny to torture me with weird girl kisses.

A Conglomerate Mass

I know, I know...I've slacked on blogging. All of you faithful bloggers have been daily checking our blog, hoping for something new and exciting, only to be sorely disappointed. I know, you've read and re-read the last few posts over and over, trying to have your thirst for utley-info quenched, but its never been enough. Today your agonizing wait is over! Today you will read something new and enlightening! You leave this blog feeling more refreshed than you have in weeks! Today is your day to lift your heads out of the shadows of neglect and embrace the rays of a new post! Hip hip hurrah!

So, first things first, here are some free events coming up that you should all be aware of:

• June 6th is National Donut Day. Krispe Kreme is giving out one free donut to every customer all day-look for a participating location near you! (side note: it also happens to be my birthday-it pleases me greatly to share my day of entrance into the world with a celebration of donuts. Jason's birthday is June 5th-a day of no national food fiestas. So sad.)

• June 7th is Free Fishing Day. This means that you can go fishing anywhere in Utah without a license-no fear of fees or fines.

• June 13th is Free Hot Dog on a Stick Day. Go to your nearest Hot Dog on a Stick eatery to receive your free hot dog...on a stick, of course.

We recently returned from a trip to St. George. We had a lot of fun and the time went by fast. We went tortoise hunting with Zach (you can find a description if the hunt on his blog page. A link to his blog can be found on our link list). We found not one, not two, but three tortoises on our escapade through the desert. It was pretty awesome and we took many pictures-I will post them someday. We saw Ben and Kim's new house, which looks really good even though it still has work left to do on it. We ate sloppy joes made skillfully by Ben's mom in the company of Ben, Kim, and Zach. Kim is looking good, and we boinked bellies as a way of introducing our babes to each other. We went shooting with Jason's dad and a few brothers, which was a thrill to Jason because he just got a M44 Russian WWII rifle (it also has a fixed bayonet, which is cool). We spent time with Jason's family and, as always, were spoiled by good food, good fun, and good times. Caitie, Jason's five-going-on-six year old little sister, wanted to see if she could hear the baby so she put her ear on my belly. After a few seconds she announced that she couldn't hear it, but she could smell it. I asked her if she was sure that it was the baby she was smelling and not me, and she said, "Well, I smelled two smells. I smelled a big smell and a little smell". For those of you that are curious about what our baby smells like, Caitie says that she smells like cream.