Mermaids Eat Sharks

 I have a long list of funny things my kids say that I have been meaning to include in a post.  Well, today is the day folks! I hope you enjoy this, but even if you don't, I know I will years from now after I finally turn my blog into a book.  If anyone has a great tip or suggestion of a place to do that, by the way, please let me in on it!

Addie and I have started playing Pictionary lately, which is so fun because she knows how to read now.  She just scans through the cards until she finds one she can read and then draws it.  Like this one, for example:

I guessed a few things until I finally landed on: "No tea?" "Yes!", she says, "You got it! See?" and she shows me the card.  The card said "note".  Don't worry, she still got the points.

Here's the end of a story that Addie told me one night before bed: "....and the prince and princess mermaid were about to kiss when they saw a shark!  The prince mermaid took his sword and killed it.  Then they cooked it and ate it, then finished getting married.  Because mermaids eat sharks sometimes, mom.  The end."

Addie came home from school the other day and plopped on a chair.  "Well, "she says, "I finally found a club to join."  I had no idea she had been on a long search to find a club.  "Really?  What is it?" I replied.  "The Monster Hi Club."  Sounds like a winner to me.

The other day Jack dumped his bowl of cereal all over the floor, and not for the first time, either.  "Jack!  That's it!"  I said.  "No more cereal for the rest of your life!"  "WHAT!?!" He immediately answered, with his eyes big and his brows raised (which, to be honest, is how he looks most of the time anyway).  It cracked me up so much that I repeated, "No more cereal for the rest of your life!"  "WHAT!?!" he exclaimed again in exactly the same way.  I don't even think he knew what I was saying, but his response was perfect and hilarious, and made me not feel so irritated to be cleaning Cheerios off the floor...again.

A few months ago we were reading about commandments when Jason asked Addie, "What are the commandments?  Do you know?"  "Yes," she answered, "They are: Obey mom and dad, Don't hurt your brother, Don't eat off the floor, Obey the Holy Ghost, Read scriptures, and Don't blow cigarettes."

I asked Addie to clean up the mess she had made on the floor one day, and she replied, "Am I like Cinderella?"

Another time Jason asked Addie to clean up her room, to which she exclaimed, "But dad, it's too heavy to pick up!"  She's a clever one, that Addie Pants.

I can't remember exactly what we were talking about one day, but it was something about old furniture or an old house.  Addie shared her opinion on old things with us:  "I love old stuff.  Remember that time I ate all the old crackers?"

This was a little while ago, but it was on my list and I don't want to forget it.  We were visiting with some friends of ours who were expecting a baby at the time (Zach and Liz).  When they were getting ready to leave Addie said, "Bye!  Have a nice baby!"

Sarah, my soon-to-be sister-in-law, asked Addie what her favorite animal was, and she answered, " My favorite animal is a buffalo because I like the way they taste." ( I may have already included this one in an earlier post somewhere, but since I can't remember for sure.)

Addie asked Jason during dinner one evening, "Dad, who is your master at work?"

Anytime someone coughs, Jack is quick to ask, " You okay?"  If he is the one that coughs, then he'll follow it up with, "I'm okay."

For some reason, Jack always wants a hug in the middle of dinner.  Usually when his hands are the messiest, too.  "Hug, " he'll say, and reach for you with his grubby little hands.

Jack likes to play "Bobbies" with Addie.  To the rest of the world those dolls are called, "Barbies".

Jack calls diapers "bipers".  He also calls milk "Mowk" or "Mowki" and still loves it with great fervor.

Kids are awesome!

Red Shoes, Fairies and Cowboys

 This entire post is about events and moments in January of this year because, yes, I am still behind.  But I am getting close to catching up! Before you and I know it, I will be posting about current things!  Hurrah!  Well, that's the dream anyway.

One Saturday morning I was putting Jack's shoes on when he said, "Hurts!  Hurts    my     toes!"  (I put additional spaces between the words because that more accurately describes how he speaks).  I checked the ends of his shoes to see how close his toes were, and was surprised that they were crunched in there.  Hey, didn't these shoes fit twelve hours ago?!?  Suddenly the agenda for the day became: find Jack some new shoes ASAP.  So, we went to a few stores with no luck and rapidly diminishing energy. 

We decided to try one last place: Old Navy.  I am getting old, as it turns out, because I thought the music in there was too loud and irritating.  Anyway, I found only two pairs of sneakers in a size 6.  A blue pair of low-top velcro sneakers, and a bright red high-top pair with elastic laces and velcro.  As soon as he saw the red pair he reached for them and shouted (probably because the music was so loud), "Red    shoes!  Red    shoes!"  So we put them on and off he ran across the store, stopping only twice to bend over and point to his shoes while saying, "Red    shoes.  Red   shoes."  I then tried to have him put on the blue pair, but he wouldn't have it.  The search for shoes was finally over.  We bought the red shoes and he wore them home, talking about his red shoes all the way there.  For the first week or so he brought them into our room every morning and plopped them onto my pillow next to my face, and then announced, "Red    shoes!" 

Here he is so pleased with his red footwear, the first thing he's ever picked out at the store.  For only being 18 months old, he does have pretty good taste.  I can hardly wait to see him wear them with shorts! 

Jack and Addie love to dress up and run around the house.  Jack is almost always a cowboy and Addie is usually a fairy or a pirate... or a mermaid... or a princess... or a chef....or a combination of two or more of those.

oOoOooo! Dum dum dum, oOoOooo!  Dum DUM DUM!!!

These two have such a good time playing together!

Jack put himself down for a nap, which he occasionally does when he's really tired, but usually he climbs into his bed.  This time, however, he chose to nap outside my bathroom door.  You can tell he intended to have a nap because he bothered to go and get all of his stuffed animals out of his bed first.  This kid likes to hold as many stuffed animals in his arms as possible when he goes to sleep.

Jack got to go on a shopping trip with Dad to Scheels for some new arrow tips.  He also got to have animal taxidermy encounters.

I find these pictures hilarious because he has the exact same expression in all of them.  He seems so confused and unimpressed by it all.  He had the same look a week ago at a play date when another little boy got right in his face and made weird noises and gestures for a good three minutes straight.  Jack didn't even flinch or back up, but stared at him with great stoicism.  I should teach him how to play poker...

Duck, Duck, Goose

  Jason really got into waterfowl hunting this past winter, both with a shotgun and with a bow.  He did bring home quite a few birds, and we ate every one of them.  I am by no means an expert when it comes to cooking up waterfowl, but I did learn a few tricks and turned out some tasty meals.  For instance, did you know that waterfowl meat is more like beef than poultry?  There's a fact to tuck away in your brain for some future conversation, or if you happen to come by a duck or goose that needs cooking.

The best part of his temporary hobby (the season ended at the beginning of February) wasn't the additional meat, but that Jason had such a great time doing it.  I'm telling you people, you have never seen a man so excited to see a flock of geese as this man was.  He would even get giddy spotting a few geese in a parking lot. He had the entire family scouting for birds whenever we were driving in the car, and usually had a pair of binoculars on hand for closer examinations.  He spent so much time looking for them that it got to the point where he started recognizing individual geese.  That's pretty serious.  Good thing there's an end to the hunting season or Jason might have joined a flock and began living life as a crazy Goose Man.

Anyway, now that you have some background on his passion for hunting, you'll be able to better enjoy/appreciate his successes documented in the following photos:  

 

 This was one of the first birds of the season, a mallard duck. 

After many weeks of effort and many YouTube hunting videos, he finally got his first geese.  I thought perhaps it would satisfy his desire to hunt them, but I was dead wrong (no insensitive pun intended).

 
I think this was his first goose taken with a bow.

 Here's a view of the duck hunter's dream.... too bad they're all decoys!

This was the prettiest duck he brought home: the Golden Eye duck.

Aptly named, as you can see.  We kept his beautiful black and white feathers, but I have yet to figure out what to do with them.  Supposedly this type of duck does not make for good eating, but we thought it was pretty good.

So, I guess I shelve my cookbook until next season.  I wonder what's next on the menu?  With Jason, you never can tell.

December and a Christmas of Bliss-mas.

Jack and I built a little snow dwelling one afternoon.  He's happy in this photo, but for the most part Snow and Jack did not get along this year. Every snow experience went something like this:
1. He wants to go out and play in the snow so badly, especially if Addie is going out.
2.  The suiting-up process, which takes a good twenty minutes to accomplish, ends with an already sad kid laying in a puffy heap on the floor.
3. Once outside, he spends most of time falling in the snow and crying.  At some point (probably 15 minutes later) I would decide this boy had enough snow in his boots and was NOT having fun, so it was time for him to go back inside.
4. Once inside he would spend the next several minutes pressed against the sliding glass door and crying because he had to come in.  It's rough being little.

 Now for a little Christmas, right this very minute!  We celebrated Christmas three times this year.  The first one was on December 21st at our own home.  The kids woke up and were excited to find tents in the front room!  Addie had recognized the wood from the wood she had seen downstairs, so I was quick on my feet and said, "You got me!  The tents are from dad and I, but they were too big to wrap.  So, I just put them out last night before Santa came so they would be here in the morning for you kids."  Whew, patched that one up.  Guess I'll have to get even sneakier next year.

 They were thrilled to find little toys and gadgets in their stockings such as cars, putty, jewelry, games, balloon helicopters, harmonicas, kazoos, and:

silly straw glasses!  Everyone's a winner in a pair of these.

 We enjoyed eating our delicious orange bow-knots and watching the kids' drinks swirl around their eyes before going in their mouths.

After breakfast we proceeded to open presents.  Jack got his first tool set, a serious milestone in a boy's life.

 Oh the joys of a having some holes and things to put in them!

Addie got what every little girl hopes for on Christmas: a Barbie princess carriage Snap Circuits!  Okay, so she didn't get the thing that no one knew she wanted until the night before Christmas, but she seemed excited by her present anyway.  Plus, she gets to play with electricity and make fans and alarms.  She's already got her electrical leprechaun trap planned for St. Patrick's day!  Jason had a lot of fun with this toy too (which is good, because its the present I picked out for him to give to her).  

Addie also got a set of Elephant and Piggie books, which she can already read completely by herself!  I love these books, so I'm glad she also loves these books (because I can hardly stand to read any more Barbie or Dora books).

Jack got a large box of wooden slice-able food, or a "Jack Pot", if you will.  (Oh, and Jason got home that morning from working a double shift, meaning 5pm the day before to 9am that morning.  He looks hammered, but rightly so.  What a man to be willing to punish himself physically for the well-being of his family!)

Jack spent the rest of the day slicing and dicing.

After a day spent in training, he was ready to open shop.

I ordered some bread, and he sliced it for me on the spot!  Now that's service.

It was a relaxing and fun pre-Christmas Christmas Day.  We ended the day with popcorn and a movie, and the kids watched it in their tents while mom and dad got the whole couch to themselves.  (Score!)

The next day was the Sunday before Christmas.  You know, the one where you make your kids wear cute clothes that they can't wait to take off?  I took a picture (well, several pictures... but this was the only one with kids holding still in it) of my cute Christmas kids before church.

 After church we went to my parents' house and began the festivities for Christmas 2.  Jack got a train set, so he couldn't be bothered with any other presents.

Addie got this fold-out Barbie house and a Ken doll from Uncle Eric.  She promptly named the doll Eric (Oh, what an honor!) and got busy playing.

Jack was willing to be pulled away from the train set once he laid eyes on this bigger train that grandpa had made for him.  (Nowadays Jack loves to drive that train up and down the hall, and occasionally haul dominoes in it.)

Then he noticed the Barbie house and thought the furniture looked just his size.  Everyone was pretty amused by his efforts, except for Addie.  (Uncle Stevie is the bearded guy, Sarah (soon to be Aunt Sarah once she marries Eric in April) is on the couch, and the legs and red shirt belong to Uncle Eric. )

It was a grand second Christmas!  Oh, I should mention Jason received a goose call, which he unfortunately practiced using in the house for the next several days; and I was lucky enough to get a Kitchen Aid, so now I have supreme mixing abilities.

The next day we traveled south for Christmas 3 (the true Christmas).  All of Jason's family was there, except for dear Elder Colton...although we did video chat with him, so in a way he was still there.  Anyway, everyone together amounts to sixteen people total, which in turn equals one long, week-long party!

We started with a live Nativity (which Addie kept calling a Nay-activity) at Tuacahn.  They even had camels!  We then drove around and looked at Christmas lights.  That was followed by games and cheese balls as is the tradition of all of our family gatherings.  We did that every night we were there, and its one of my favorite things! 

 Christmas morning began with stockings and presents (in an incredibly large pile since we had so many people) and a doorbell ringing.  Caitie went to open the door and was shocked to see a pony standing there.  Behind that pony was yet another pony.  Merry Christmas, indeed!  Caitie, Cami and Nate spent the rest of the day (and most of the week) tending to their new ponies and getting familiar with them.  It was the highlight of Christmas, even for little Addie.

What could be better than riding around on a pony with your awesome aunt?  The weather was warm and beautiful, perfect for outdoor Christmas fun!

The sisters-in-law started a new tradition: going shopping and leaving all spouses and children behind.  It was so fun to have some time to bond and get caught up on each others' lives.  I don't have any sisters, but these women are close enough.  I love them!  Our only regret was that Jesse wasn't able to come, too.  We ended our awesome afternoon out with a commemorative photo-booth picture.

 And, of course, we went shooting.  This time Cami and Megann both had smaller-sized shotguns, so all the girls got into the fun and had a shooting contest.  As it turns out, I rather like shotgun shooting!

Three Christmases in a row sounds overwhelming, but it was my favorite Christmas season yet!  I'm not sure what made this Christmas seem more pleasant than all the rest, but it was all just so enjoyable and full of happy moments.  I'm so glad we have a whole bunch of new awesome memories to treasure!

An Ember of November

 We had a nice and quiet November, which was much needed after our wild and crazy October.  We had Thanksgiving with my side of the family and enjoyed the lovely fall weather, and that about sums it up.

Oh, and Addie joined a tribe, and we have fully supported her in that decision.  It's hard to say no to that face (meaning Porter Rockwell's face, of course.) When left to her own devices, this kid comes up with some surprising ways to entertain herself... and the rest of us, too.

 Addie had some friends come play in our giant leaf pile before we raked it all up.  They first got busy making in into a big nest, complete with a baby bird falling out.  (Later that day I discovered his diaper was a complete mess of wet and crushed up leaves, all stuck to his bottom with incredible adhesion.  *Note to Members of a Mob: a mixture of pee and dry leaves is a great alternative to tar-and-feathering for when you need a riot in a pinch.  It is almost as difficult to remove and causes an itchy rash.)

 Here we have Addie, Avery and Jane, coordinating their jumping efforts to perform the difficult and dangerous Pile Pounce!

10 points!  All participants remain in good condition, aside from some leaves in the ears.  What an amazing feat!  

Toward the end of the month is started to get colder, but we ventured outside anyway... mostly so we would have an excuse to put the penguin hat on Jack.  Who knew making someone's head look like a penguin could be so cute?   Maybe it's the age of the head that makes it cute... do me a favor and picture an old person in that hat.  Now tell me: is it still cute?

  This photo proves what a relaxing month we had.  It also proves that a full belly and a sloppy face is the best combination for a fantastic nap.  But you don't have to take my word for it. ("Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high.  Take a look!  It's in a book! ..." This post is finished, so you're welcome to look up the Reading Rainbow theme song on YouTube now.)