Mermaids Eat Sharks

 I have a long list of funny things my kids say that I have been meaning to include in a post.  Well, today is the day folks! I hope you enjoy this, but even if you don't, I know I will years from now after I finally turn my blog into a book.  If anyone has a great tip or suggestion of a place to do that, by the way, please let me in on it!

Addie and I have started playing Pictionary lately, which is so fun because she knows how to read now.  She just scans through the cards until she finds one she can read and then draws it.  Like this one, for example:

I guessed a few things until I finally landed on: "No tea?" "Yes!", she says, "You got it! See?" and she shows me the card.  The card said "note".  Don't worry, she still got the points.

Here's the end of a story that Addie told me one night before bed: "....and the prince and princess mermaid were about to kiss when they saw a shark!  The prince mermaid took his sword and killed it.  Then they cooked it and ate it, then finished getting married.  Because mermaids eat sharks sometimes, mom.  The end."

Addie came home from school the other day and plopped on a chair.  "Well, "she says, "I finally found a club to join."  I had no idea she had been on a long search to find a club.  "Really?  What is it?" I replied.  "The Monster Hi Club."  Sounds like a winner to me.

The other day Jack dumped his bowl of cereal all over the floor, and not for the first time, either.  "Jack!  That's it!"  I said.  "No more cereal for the rest of your life!"  "WHAT!?!" He immediately answered, with his eyes big and his brows raised (which, to be honest, is how he looks most of the time anyway).  It cracked me up so much that I repeated, "No more cereal for the rest of your life!"  "WHAT!?!" he exclaimed again in exactly the same way.  I don't even think he knew what I was saying, but his response was perfect and hilarious, and made me not feel so irritated to be cleaning Cheerios off the floor...again.

A few months ago we were reading about commandments when Jason asked Addie, "What are the commandments?  Do you know?"  "Yes," she answered, "They are: Obey mom and dad, Don't hurt your brother, Don't eat off the floor, Obey the Holy Ghost, Read scriptures, and Don't blow cigarettes."

I asked Addie to clean up the mess she had made on the floor one day, and she replied, "Am I like Cinderella?"

Another time Jason asked Addie to clean up her room, to which she exclaimed, "But dad, it's too heavy to pick up!"  She's a clever one, that Addie Pants.

I can't remember exactly what we were talking about one day, but it was something about old furniture or an old house.  Addie shared her opinion on old things with us:  "I love old stuff.  Remember that time I ate all the old crackers?"

This was a little while ago, but it was on my list and I don't want to forget it.  We were visiting with some friends of ours who were expecting a baby at the time (Zach and Liz).  When they were getting ready to leave Addie said, "Bye!  Have a nice baby!"

Sarah, my soon-to-be sister-in-law, asked Addie what her favorite animal was, and she answered, " My favorite animal is a buffalo because I like the way they taste." ( I may have already included this one in an earlier post somewhere, but since I can't remember for sure.)

Addie asked Jason during dinner one evening, "Dad, who is your master at work?"

Anytime someone coughs, Jack is quick to ask, " You okay?"  If he is the one that coughs, then he'll follow it up with, "I'm okay."

For some reason, Jack always wants a hug in the middle of dinner.  Usually when his hands are the messiest, too.  "Hug, " he'll say, and reach for you with his grubby little hands.

Jack likes to play "Bobbies" with Addie.  To the rest of the world those dolls are called, "Barbies".

Jack calls diapers "bipers".  He also calls milk "Mowk" or "Mowki" and still loves it with great fervor.

Kids are awesome!

Red Shoes, Fairies and Cowboys

 This entire post is about events and moments in January of this year because, yes, I am still behind.  But I am getting close to catching up! Before you and I know it, I will be posting about current things!  Hurrah!  Well, that's the dream anyway.

One Saturday morning I was putting Jack's shoes on when he said, "Hurts!  Hurts    my     toes!"  (I put additional spaces between the words because that more accurately describes how he speaks).  I checked the ends of his shoes to see how close his toes were, and was surprised that they were crunched in there.  Hey, didn't these shoes fit twelve hours ago?!?  Suddenly the agenda for the day became: find Jack some new shoes ASAP.  So, we went to a few stores with no luck and rapidly diminishing energy. 

We decided to try one last place: Old Navy.  I am getting old, as it turns out, because I thought the music in there was too loud and irritating.  Anyway, I found only two pairs of sneakers in a size 6.  A blue pair of low-top velcro sneakers, and a bright red high-top pair with elastic laces and velcro.  As soon as he saw the red pair he reached for them and shouted (probably because the music was so loud), "Red    shoes!  Red    shoes!"  So we put them on and off he ran across the store, stopping only twice to bend over and point to his shoes while saying, "Red    shoes.  Red   shoes."  I then tried to have him put on the blue pair, but he wouldn't have it.  The search for shoes was finally over.  We bought the red shoes and he wore them home, talking about his red shoes all the way there.  For the first week or so he brought them into our room every morning and plopped them onto my pillow next to my face, and then announced, "Red    shoes!" 

Here he is so pleased with his red footwear, the first thing he's ever picked out at the store.  For only being 18 months old, he does have pretty good taste.  I can hardly wait to see him wear them with shorts! 

Jack and Addie love to dress up and run around the house.  Jack is almost always a cowboy and Addie is usually a fairy or a pirate... or a mermaid... or a princess... or a chef....or a combination of two or more of those.

oOoOooo! Dum dum dum, oOoOooo!  Dum DUM DUM!!!

These two have such a good time playing together!

Jack put himself down for a nap, which he occasionally does when he's really tired, but usually he climbs into his bed.  This time, however, he chose to nap outside my bathroom door.  You can tell he intended to have a nap because he bothered to go and get all of his stuffed animals out of his bed first.  This kid likes to hold as many stuffed animals in his arms as possible when he goes to sleep.

Jack got to go on a shopping trip with Dad to Scheels for some new arrow tips.  He also got to have animal taxidermy encounters.

I find these pictures hilarious because he has the exact same expression in all of them.  He seems so confused and unimpressed by it all.  He had the same look a week ago at a play date when another little boy got right in his face and made weird noises and gestures for a good three minutes straight.  Jack didn't even flinch or back up, but stared at him with great stoicism.  I should teach him how to play poker...

Duck, Duck, Goose

  Jason really got into waterfowl hunting this past winter, both with a shotgun and with a bow.  He did bring home quite a few birds, and we ate every one of them.  I am by no means an expert when it comes to cooking up waterfowl, but I did learn a few tricks and turned out some tasty meals.  For instance, did you know that waterfowl meat is more like beef than poultry?  There's a fact to tuck away in your brain for some future conversation, or if you happen to come by a duck or goose that needs cooking.

The best part of his temporary hobby (the season ended at the beginning of February) wasn't the additional meat, but that Jason had such a great time doing it.  I'm telling you people, you have never seen a man so excited to see a flock of geese as this man was.  He would even get giddy spotting a few geese in a parking lot. He had the entire family scouting for birds whenever we were driving in the car, and usually had a pair of binoculars on hand for closer examinations.  He spent so much time looking for them that it got to the point where he started recognizing individual geese.  That's pretty serious.  Good thing there's an end to the hunting season or Jason might have joined a flock and began living life as a crazy Goose Man.

Anyway, now that you have some background on his passion for hunting, you'll be able to better enjoy/appreciate his successes documented in the following photos:  

 

 This was one of the first birds of the season, a mallard duck. 

After many weeks of effort and many YouTube hunting videos, he finally got his first geese.  I thought perhaps it would satisfy his desire to hunt them, but I was dead wrong (no insensitive pun intended).

 
I think this was his first goose taken with a bow.

 Here's a view of the duck hunter's dream.... too bad they're all decoys!

This was the prettiest duck he brought home: the Golden Eye duck.

Aptly named, as you can see.  We kept his beautiful black and white feathers, but I have yet to figure out what to do with them.  Supposedly this type of duck does not make for good eating, but we thought it was pretty good.

So, I guess I shelve my cookbook until next season.  I wonder what's next on the menu?  With Jason, you never can tell.